To Save the World

“We have to have sex.”

“Your place or mine?”

“Jack!”

“What? You heard her, Ianto. We have to have sex.”

“Miss Rosenberg, if I may ask the reason behind this request?”

“Oh, its to save the world.”

“There you go, Ianto. Willow and I have to have sex to save the world.”

“Sir, I don't believe-”

“Look, are you going to stay and watch? Because if you are, you need to be quiet. Or naked. Or quiet and naked.”

“Jack, don't tease him like that.”

“So is this a time sensitive world-ending problem, or can I take my time.”

“Sir, please put your shirt back on.”

“Ianto, haven't you been listening? End of the world. Sex. Now.”

“Jack, I really don't thin- Miss Rosenberg, please!”

“I thought you said nothing ever phased him?”

“Usually he doesn't turn red like that, but that may be your fault. Cute bra, by the way.”

“Thanks. Tosh helped me pick it out.”

“...”

“Jack, stop it.”

“I can't help it, Willow. Think you could talk her into a threesome? Those are always fun.”

“Perhaps we should research this problem before things are done that can't be taken back.”

“Don't be such prude, Ianto.”

“Look, Ianto. You're nice and all, but if you're not going to participate, at least keep quiet while Jack and I save the world.”

“By having sex. A lot.”

Slam.

“Huh. I would have thought he'd last longer.”

“What can I say, I'm good. Now can Tosh have the weekend off? I have plans for her.”

“Can I come?”

“No.”

“Can I at least watch?”

“No.”

“Will you give me detailed play-by-plays on Monday?”

“No, Jack.”

“Will you at least show me what other underwear Tosh picked out for you?”

“Maybe.”

END

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